I meant to publish this back in December...for some reason I neglected to do so...
I have a couple friends who are either expecting little ones or have just had babies and I am overflowing with memories. I have been looking back to this time a year ago and I am overcome with wonder to realize how much has changed.
This time last year, I was a completely different person. I did not have a handle on the whole new Mommy thing, even though I had been a Mom for over 2 months. When we were getting ready to go out for my birthday, I was a big ball of emotions. I felt like I would never get used to having this new baby in my life. I didn't like how my life had been flipped upside down and, selfishly, I wasn't sure I was going to make it through the adjustment.
**Don't get me wrong, I would NOT have done anything to change having my sweet one being in my life, but I thought I was going to be unhappy for a very long time.***
So here we are, one year later. I am a ball of emotions, but for a reason different from the reason last year. This year, as I celebrated my birthday, I saw it from a Mother's perspective.
I now have such a deep respect for my own Mother and the sacrifices she has made to make my life possible. The realizations that I now hold are ones that I was completely naive to prior to entering the club of Mommyhood. I am beyond thankful for the sacrifices my Mother made with her body, with her time, with her energy and with her money.
Prior to becoming a Mother (and even for a little while afterwards), I was used to spending money on myself rather frivolously. If I saw a shirt or a pair of shoes I liked, I bought them. But, I found out the hard way that these extraneous purchases could no longer find their way into my shopping cart, car or closet. So I have mourned the loss of that kind of lifestyle and I resign myself to the knowledge that the money I once spent on myself is much better spent on that little girl to whom I have given life.
