I have been thinking a lot about the birthing experience lately. I'll spare the gore and gutsy details, but I have been wondering if the memories I have of myself after delivery are normal to most women.

I had probably an average laboring and pushing time. After delivering my baby girl, I barely remember anything but feeling like a zombie for the next week or so. Call it exhaustion, call it starvation (I had trouble eating...lots of nausea), but I am kind of embarrassed that I wasn't more "with it". I can only imagine what our visitors thought of my demeanor. I had taken make up and hair products with me to the hospital because I have seen so many "just after birth" photos where the Mommies have their hair done and at least a little make up on as they take pictures with their new babies.

I.barely.took.a.shower.

There was no way I was doing my hair or putting make up on. I had so little capacity to even walk from the bed to the bathroom and back. I'm guessing it was all because I didn't realize all the trauma that a woman's body experiences during this time.

There are maybe only 2 or 3 photos of me after she was born. I wonder if this is the way most Mommies feel just after labor and delivery (and the hospital stay).

I did not have any drugs (other than pitocin) and I wonder if I had if I would have felt differently. I'm not saying I regret this part of my experience, I guess I just expected to have good photos of the 3 of us even though we were still in the hospital.

I wonder now that I know what to expect if the next one will be different and if I'll remember more.

Just some thoughts.